Never thought I would ever see the sight of these two together again,
so please don't accuse me of being over-dramatic when I say THIS took my breath away,literally
You know,I've read about it SO MANY TIMES - on fanaccounts from InkiGayo every freakin' Sunday,ever since Jay made his very successful comeback on Korean public broadcasts and performed his Abandoned comeback stage on InkiGayo.I've even imagined it my head after reading those countless fanaccounts - how it would be - the two guys I love so much being together again in a valid environment - not hiding nor avoiding from being seen or photographed while together,or feeling uncomfortable to interact when they are aware of the interested eyes watching them, et cetera.I read those precious accounts with a smile I can't seem to stop from forming on my face - about the cute interactions,the warm gestures and just how they seem to be enjoying those moments of being able to hang out and work together again without having to be extra careful about it.
Often I found myself at the end of one fanaccount,and wishing there was some sort of a photo or a video attached together with it.Something to assure me that the words I just read were not some made up lines just telling things I wish to know about;something to convince me that it all did happened for real.And then I calm myself down by thinking it's enough to have information and to have eyewitnesses that they are doing great together,that my two favourite boys are doing well despite everything that was surrounding them,that they weren't affected by it.I tell myself that I don't have to see it for myself,that all is good and that status quo is enough for me.
I've read on my Kwon being prejudiced at,scorned about,very wrongfully judged by all sorts of people - the supposedly "protective" fans from both sides,the know-it-all "perceptive" netizens, the "clueless" passing-by onlookers,and I've read about my Jay being tutored on "how to act" and "in what way to behave" on matters when it concerned the two of them.But I believe in my boys,and I know that they know what the best thing for themselves would be,and despite the whole chaos and brouhaha about Jay's first appearance on Inki and his supposed big "reunion" with Kwon, and despite Kwon's frustration and disappointment about the issue and the reactions he was receiving which finally drove him away from Twitter (he was bothered THAT much at that point), I persevered and I prayed in my heart that everything will be okay,and that Kwon will persevere and he will come out a much stronger person because of what happened - which he did and he proved my thoughts to be right,oori Kwondaejang..
But then Jay openly talked about Kwon in an interview - one simple act that might seemed insignificant to a lot of people - but I know it wasn't just a simple mention and I was touched beyond belief and I was so proud of him.I knew that it was his own way to protect,to defend a friend - a brother - and he was risking disapproval from certain people and sections of his most loyal fans by doing that,but that's Jay Park for you.Jay Park as I know he would be,so rather than being surprised I was just proud,and thankful.I was thankful and I thought I wouldn't ask for more.I truly did thought it was good enough.
Weeks passed by,and now after numerous speculations and theories and opinions and fanaccounts,and just at the point where I had given up wishing and hoping ( I basically vanquished any sorts of hopes on seeing photos or videos of them together when I found out that Jay's performance on InkiGayo for Tonight was going to be his goodbye stage on national tv broadcasts for this round of promotions) they suddenly gave me THIS.
I read about it first before I actually saw it,but by God..I teared up.I didn't even know what was happening; suddenly there they were.. the two of them walking together casually and talking and bowing to whomever it was who greeted them like they don't have a care in the world - as if nothing out of the norm was happening on a clear May afternoon in 2011,and my eyes were suddenly misty.It's lame,pointless and stupid and I KNOW THAT but I can't help it.It looked so familiar but it felt so different too;essentially it was the same Jay and Kwon but too many things have changed now - both about them and everything else surrounding them,their history and everything else that had transpired or the past months - and it was all so bittersweet yet lovely,the feelings were definitely overwhelming for a fan like me.T_T
I don't know..it just felt like yeah sure there they were walking out of SBS after a day's work but they have got to know what the gesture they did would signify,they have to.It's as if they were giving us fans a sort of a gift,and at the same time their seemly casual gesture was also an answer all the questions and to shut off all the speculations and accusations.They knew it was going to be the last chance in a while to "officially" be together in front of fans,well at least up until the day Jay comes back again for his next promotion period (and we still don' know when that will happen) and wow did it took my breath away.They did it with such flair although it might have not seemed like it;so nonchalantly but very effectively done.Sure,some fans are of the opinion that we JayKwon fans are making such a big fuss over something that isn't all that but I'll take my chances when I'm given it.Even if Jay and Kwon meant nothing by it,I don't care..the most important thing was that they did it.And I love the fact that Kwon currently has a hairstyle that is almost similar to his beloved Hyung,and looking at them with their very fair skin and broad shoulders with not too tall heights,they really could pass off as real brothers..it's all really meaningful and it warmed my heart and took my breath away.It was perfection.And I couldn't thank the fan who took this beautiful fancam enough,she truly is my champion.
I wanted to say I'm thankful and this is the best present I could ask as a fan of those two,but this time I won't do that.This year,the month of May had provided me with some of the best things happening in my life for a long while(both in my personal life and my K-entertainment addict life) and it had taught me that for certain things,you shouldn't even think of giving up..you just don't let go and if you just keep on going,some way or another you will be rewarded.So yeah,I think I'm just gonna be a bit more greedy,a bit more selfish this time around.And because I can't seem to forget the fact that Kwon kept singing along to Abandoned and imitating Jay's dance moves for the song at Inkigayo,I'm gonna hope and wish for the fact that one day(yup,pun intended),the two of them will perform together on the same stage again,with the same song.
Heck,I will even wish for a project featuring the two of them together,singing and dancing together,music videos and photoshoots together,you know..complete with all the required trappings.That would probably be something a few more years in the making,but really,since when was that an issue?I mean,Leadja Jaebeom came back as Jay Park didn't he?So make me wait,I don't care.I might even forget all about my hopes and wishes,but there is no way I'm giving up on them,no sirree.I'll just prepare myself to act surprised when that actually happens,obviously.
To JoKwon and Jay Park, for making worlds collide looking so damn beautiful as it happened, and for making people shed happy tears about it.And for stealing my breath away just by strolling together on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.
